In The Pain, There's Healing
by Hotch Fan
Summary: Set post 7x05"From Childhood's Hour." After Carolyn's visit and the news she gave him, Dave needs to feel he's not alone. Hotch is there for him, with a little help from Jack. [NOW COMPLETE]
1. I'm Falling Apart, I'm Barely Breathing

********Well, here's my new story. I was so disappointed by the lack of Hotch/Rossi scene after the Dave/Carolyn arc that I had to write this. It seems so unreal that given their close friendship we haven't had a single scene between them, at least of Hotch asking Dave if he's okay (other than the one were Dave return to work after Carolyn's death), though I must admit, that gives me more freedom to write this story. As stated in the summary this is a two, maybe three shot, so enjoy it and remember, any comment or criticism will be appreciated.********

**Also I owe a huge thanks, to **_**Nebula2 **_**for the beta.**

**I don't owe Criminal Minds or any of his characters.**

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><p><em><strong>OoOoO<br>**_

**Chapter I: _I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing._**

_**"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.**_

Dave was still seated on the couch. The same one where Carolyn had been sitting. He was in the middle of the dark room, the only light coming from the lamp on the little table to his left.

He didn't know and didn't care, how long he had been there, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands together, holding a glass of wine before him.

After Carolyn told him about her illness and what she wanted him to do, she had started crying, breaking down before him. And that was what had thrown Dave for a loop. In all the years he had known her, even before they married, he never had seen her cry. Never. She had always been a strong woman, and that was one of the many reasons Dave had fallen in love with her. He guessed bitterly, that knowing she had only a few months of life it didn't matter if she was strong or not anymore.

Dave had to force himself to move, going next to Carolyn and taking her in his arms. He didn't say anything, didn't know what to say. Nothing was or would be fine, and he couldn't even tell her he would help her, that he would do what she wanted, because even now, he wasn't sure if he could do it. Wasn't sure if he could keep his promise.

After what felt like hours, she had calmed down, and had begun to apologize non-stop. Dave had brushed away her apologies immediately and when she had said she was leaving, Dave had told her she could stay but in the end, she hadn't accepted, saying he needed time to think and she wanted to be alone for a while.

Dave abruptly got to his feet, leaving his empty glass on the coffee table. Suddenly, he didn't want to be here, alone, feeling sorry for himself. He had to get out of here.

Without thinking, he walked toward the kitchen area and grabbed the phone, dialing the first number that came into his mind and waited. He was about to hang up when the phone was answered, and the familiar voice came over the line.

"Hello?"

Dave blinked. God, had he really called to...?

He had to clear his throat before speaking.

"Hey,"

"Dave?" Hotch's voice called over the phone.

"Yeah, It's me. What are you guys doing ?" As soon as the words left his mouth, Dave rolled his eyes. God, that sounded even more pathetic out aloud.

"Uh... We're going to see a movie. I promised Jack we'd see a movie when I came back if he had all of his homework finished," He could hear the smile on Hotch's voice as he spoke. "He'll probably fall asleep before it ends, but as he told me; a promise is a promise, I guess I should be more specific next time." Hotch paused, turning serious. "Is everything okay?"

How was he supposed to answer to that? No, nothing is okay, everything is a mess. Was he supposed to ruin the little time the younger man had with his son, telling him what was wrong, eventhough he knew Hotch couldn't really help him solve anything?

Yeah, it seemed he had his answer.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just..." He left off, not wanting to lie to his friend, besides, Hotch knew him better than anyone, and would know immediately that Dave was lying.

Then, through the line he heard little Jack's voice, calling his father.

"Dave? Can you wait a moment?"

"Of course." Dave answered, more than happy for the little distraction that will let him stay out of Hotch's scrutiny, even over the phone.

There was a moment of silence, in which he guessed Hotch put the phone away and then, he heard the muffled sound of his voice.

_'What do you need buddy?'_

_'Are you talking to uncle Dave, Daddy?'_

_'Yes, I am'_

_'Can I speak to him?'_

_'Sorry buddy, but Dad and Uncle Dave are talking right now.' *pause* 'I'll tell you what, when Daddy finishes talking with uncle Dave I'll ask him if he's not busy and if he isn't then you can talk to him, okay?'_

_'Okay Daddy.'_

Dave couldn't stop the smile that formed on his lips when he hear that. After he had agreed to help Hotch coach Jack's team, he had become really close to the little boy and to his surprise, he had become the favorite 'uncle' among the team members.

"Dave?" Hotch called. The worried tone in his voice told Dave it was not the first time he tried to get his attention.

"Sorry, just thinking."

"Dave... Are you sure everything is okay?" Hotch asked, his voice full of consternation.

"Yeah, yeah I just... do you mind if I come over?" Dave asked quietly.

There was silence on the other line and Dave almost slapped a hand over his face. What happened to not wanting to disturb Hotch time with his son?

He was about to take back what he said, saying he was just joking, or hell, anything else when Hotch replied.

"Of course, you know you can come over whenever you want. I'm sure Jack would be glad to see you." Hotch said, trying to keep the surprise and worry out of his tone.

He didn't succeed but Dave was more than happy to let it slide.

"Thanks, I'll be there in thirty."

After hanging up, Dave stayed there, without moving for a while, just staring at the wall in front of him, thinking of nothing, feeling a pain, deep in his chest and a lump in his throat.

He licked his dry lips and frowned, shaking his head, trying to clear his mind.

It didn't work.

He rubbed a hand over his tired face, before heading toward the door, taking his keys and phone.

_**OoOoO  
><strong>_

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><p><strong>I know, I know, this is very short, but I promise the next chapter will be longer. I'm already working on it and I'll post it as soon as I can :)<strong>

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read it.**** I hope you all have enjoyed****, and as always feedback is appreciated. Thank you.**


	2. With a Broken Heart That's Still Beating

**********I want to thank everyone how had read, alerted and added this fic to your favorites. It really mean alot to me :D **********

**********And finally, here's the second chapter. It ended a lot longer than I had expected, but I really liked the way it came out, and I hope you like it too. Anyway, enjoy it and remember, any comment or criticism will be appreciated.**********

**Again, a huge thanks to **_**Nebula2 **_**for the beta.**

**I don't owe Criminal Minds or any of his characters.**

* * *

><p><strong><em>OoOoO<em>**

**Chapter II: _With a broken heart, that's still beating.  
><em>**

It took Dave well over thirty minutes to get to Hotch's apartment. It wasn't because of the traffic or something like that. It had been Dave's own fault.

Driving in his car, in total and absolute silence he allowed the thoughts, the memories blow freely inside of his head.

Memories of when he and Carolyn were married. The day they got married, the divorce, James' death, the good and the bad times. All the memories flooded his mind at the same time and he got so caught up on them, that he was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of other cars' horn.

When he finally arrived, he got out the car and walked slowly inside the building.

Still lost in thought, Dave went up the stairs to the fourth floor. He still couldn't believe the turn things had taken within hours. First he had been happily cooking and eating with Carolyn, and then she had told him she was dying, making the floor under Dave's feet crumble around him.

Standing outside Hotch's apartment, Dave shook his head, trying to clear it before lifting his hand to knock at the door. He hesitated, only for a moment, asking himself what he was doing there. Before he could turn around and go back home, Dave knocked at the door twice and waited.

Only a couple of seconds passed before the door was answered.

Hotch appeared at the other side, the jacket and tie he had been wearing missing, and his sleeves rolled up above his elbows.

"Hey, come in," Hotch said, stepping aside to let Dave in.

"Thanks."

Taking in his surroundings, Dave relaxed slightly. Unlike his own home, Hotch's apartment, although smaller, felt warmer and cozier. It felt lived in. Over the table, was a board game already saved in its box, on the coffee table were a pair of trucks, and over the small desk was Hotch's briefcase. It was amazing what little things could do to a place.

From the hallway, he heard the sound of laughter before Jack appeared, dressed in a Toy Story's pajamas.

Oh yeah, Dave knew what Toy Story was.

It had happened at the end of one of Jack's games, the little boy had said something about a toy called Woody, Dave couldn't remember what, and he had given him a confused look in response. Jack had gone completely serious, his little brow furrowed, making even more notable the resemblance with his father, as he asked Dave if he didn't know Toy Story.

Amused, Dave had acknowledged that no, he didn't know the movie.

Jack had turned to his father, saying in a serious and matter-of-fact tone, that they needed to go home, so Uncle Dave could watch Toy Story.

Dave had quirked an eyebrow at Hotch, silently asking if Jack was being serious. The other man had only shrugged a smile on his face.

That was how David Rossi had spent the day sitting on a couch next to Hotch and Jack, watching all three movies.

He never admitted it aloud and never would, but he had enjoyed that day, really enjoyed it.

"Uncle Dave!" Jack shouted, before running toward Dave.

"Hey there Champ!" Dave greeted, lifting Jack in his arms.

Then, without thinking, almost instinctively Dave hugged the little boy tightly and Jack, as if knowing, feeling Dave needed it, hugged him back.

Aaron watched the interaction, fear rising inside him. When Dave had called, he had immediately perceived that Dave had sounded off, and then Dave had asked if he could come over, that had been the confirmation something was wrong, because usually, after coming back from a case Dave would go home and relax, take some wine or scotch, or just rest. He hadn't really been worried though, thinking that if something was really wrong Dave would tell him when he got here. But when he had opened the door and had really looked at Dave, a chill had gone down his spine. Just in the few hours since they had left the BAU, Dave seemed four or five years older, his hair disheveled, as if he had run his fingers over it several times, and eyes slightly bloodshot, as if he had been crying. Basically, he looked totally messed up.

After a while, Dave forced himself to lose his grip on Jack, forcing a smile on his face, as Jack turned his head to look at him.

"Daddy said you came to see Nemo with us." Jack asked, looking at Dave with big and hopeful brown eyes.

"That's the plan Kiddo," Dave said, putting Jack down. "Are you going to invite me?"

"Yes! Come on." Jack shouted excitedly, taking Dave's hand between his own and pulling him into the living room.

Dave couldn't help but smile and follow him.

Jack turned around, seeing that his father was still standing there, without moving.

"Daddy, come see Nemo!"

Hotch gave Dave a serious look, as if saying; ´I know something is wrong and we're going to talk about it´ before turning to Jack, smiling.

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

Jack sat between them, excitedly telling Dave the name of each one of the fishes that appeared on the screen.

The movie hadn't been playing for more than thirty minutes when Jack fell asleep, head resting on Dave's shoulder.

Looking at Jack's sleeping form, Hotch reached for the remote over the coffee table, stopping the movie.

"He's out like a light," Hotch started quietly, gaining Dave's attention. "I should take him to bed." Hotch finished, standing up and carefully taking the little boy's body in his arms.

Dave watched Hotch disappear down the hall, taking a deep breath. The only thing standing between the conversation Dave knew he would have to have with the younger agent had been Jack, and with him out of the room nothing stood. The only thing he could think to do was sneak out before Hotch come back, but well, he worked with the man and would have to see him tomorrow so that wasn't really an option.

After tucking Jack in bed Hotch returned, stopping under the threshold looking at Dave. The other man hadn't moved, his gaze was straight ahead and his shoulders slumped forward. Hotch shook his head, the worry inside of him increasing.

"Hey," He called softly, not wanting to startle Dave. "You want something to drink?"

Dave looked at him for a moment, as if he hadn't heard him, before shaking his head slightly. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you're having."

Hotch nodded before disappearing into the kitchen, his head spinning, trying to figure out what was wrong, but came up empty. Finally, he took a bottle of bourbon and a couple of glasses and returned to the living room.

After pouring some of the amber liquid on both glasses, Hotch handed one to Dave, who just murmured a thanks and immediately took a long sip of it.

Hotch sat at Dave's side, the glass between his hands as he waited for Dave to say something, to tell him what was wrong.

They stayed in silent for a while, making it clear to Hotch that Dave wasn't going to take the lead and talk to him about what was happening.

Hotch turned his body slightly to the left, facing Dave the best he could and broke the silence between them.

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on?"

As soon as the words left the other man's mouth Dave wished he had stayed at home, all alone and miserable, but without having to talk about what was happening.

It was a bitter thought and Dave knew it. He had to, needed to talk to someone, and he couldn't think of anyone else to do it, someone else he trusted enough to talk to other than Hotch. Sure, he could talk to Emily, hell, he could talk with anyone on the team, but the truth was that no matter how much he trust them, this was so personal that he just wouldn't feel comfortable talking about this with any of them. Besides, after the talk he had with Emily about Carolyn, Dave felt like a fool. He wouldn't have the courage to go and talk to her about this right now.

Dave drew a deep breath, running a hand over his face. "Carolyn called me two weeks ago, asking if we could meet."

Hotch's brows drew together. "Carolyn, your ex-wife?"

It's not that Dave and Carolyn had ended on bad terms, but since Dave had come back to the BAU, Hotch never had seen or heard anything to suggest that Dave kept in touch with her.

Dave nodded slightly, but didn't say anything else for a while.

Hotch looked at him carefully, but remained silent. Waiting.

Eventually, Dave started speaking again.

"I met with her before we left for St. Louis. I was with her when you called, telling me about the case." Dave looked as Hotch nodded, indicating he remembered, and keep talking. "We couldn't really finish talking, so I ask her to meet us again when I came back."

It was clear for Hotch now that whatever was bothering Dave had to do with Carolyn, something she had told him.

"I haven't spoken to her in almost ten years, you know?" Dave paused for a moment, gripping the glass between his hands. "Carolyn is... she's sick, she has ALS."

Hotch looked at him, startled. He didn't say anything, didn't even move, too shocked to do anything.

"Dave, I... I'm so sorry." Hotch finally offered, his voice low and sincere.

Dave released a bitter, humorless laugh that sent a chill down Hotch's spine.

"And I thought she wanted us to have a second chance. I'm just an old fool." Dave said derogatory, his voice angry and hurt.

"There is nothing wrong with wanting a second chance to be happy." Hotch replied, a melancholic tone in his voice.

Dave looked at Hotch for a long time, recognizing the sad and wishful expression on his face.

Dave nodded almost imperceptibly, running a hand over his forehead. "She didn't come just to tell me she was-" Dave stopped, swallowing hard. "That she was dying,"

Hotch tilted his head slightly to the right, wondering what else was going on, but didn't push.

Dave lifed the glass to his lips and took a sip, emptying the glass. He knew that if he didn't get it all out now, he wouldn't do it ever. He drew a deep breath.

"She... she asked me to help her..." Dave licked his dry lips, feeling the tears gather in his eyes. "Help her when the disease becomes too hard and she can't do it herself... She asked me to help her die."

Hotch's expression changed from one of sadness to one of total surprise. He immediately reached out, placing a hand over Dave's shoulder. A simple but meaningful gesture of comfort.

"Dave I..." Hotch left out, shaking his head. Say he was sorry again didn't help, and ask Dave how was he was pointless. Hotch grimaced, he didn't know what to say.

"I... How is Carolyn holding up?" Hotch asked finally. He had met Carolyn briefly, when he had started working at the BAU. He hadn't really known her, but she had seemed like a nice woman.

"She's... fine considering the situation." Dave frowned, looking at the glass between his hands. "She's so resigned to the idea she's going to die. She has been sick for over a year and she said she's grateful for the time she's had before the symptoms appear fully."

Dave stopped, a single tear making its way down his cheek. Dave immediately lifted a hand, brushing it off.

Hotch squeezed Dave's shoulder, but didn't push.

"She had always been strong, she- she said she would have fought, wouldn't have given up if she knew there was something to fight for, but there isn't." Dave licked his lips, before continuing. "She just wants to go on her own terms, she doesn't want be a burden, doesn't want to reach the point where she can't even get out of bed. I understand how she feels, what she thinks, I really do, but I don't know if I could..."

Dave shook his head, lowering it as his vision blurred, because of the tears that pooled in his eyes.

They sat in silence for a moment, until finally Hotch spoke.

"I don't know what to tell you Dave, I can't even begin to imagine what Carolyn has been and is still going through, and can only guess what you are feeling and thinking, but what she is asking of you," Hotch shook his head. "What she wants you to do is an impossible decision. There's not right and wrong choice here, you just have to make a choice and live with the consequences."

Dave listened carefully to what Hotch said, and once the other man had finished, Dave licked his lips, asking the question he really wanted an answer for.

"What would you do?"

Hotch looked at Dave straight in the face. He had been waiting for that question but still, he was a bit at a lost as how to answer it.

"I don't know Dave. I could sit here, telling you I would never help someone to die, that I couldn't, but the truth is that nobody can know how you might react facing a situation like that, or any difficult situation." Hotch finished, his mind immediately going to George Foyet.

If someone had asked him, four or five years ago if he would be capable of killing a human being with his bare hands, he would have said he didn't, that he could never do it. But the thing was that after everything he had gone through, after seeing Haley's dead body, he had done just that. It didn't matter that Foyet was a killer, a psychopath and neither did it matter how much it sickened or scared him, if he could go back to that moment, he would do it again, without even thinking. For Jack.

Dave watched a mixture of emotions flash through Hotch's eyes, and recognized that the other man was not only talking about Carolyn's situation, but something else, and Dave had a pretty good idea of what was it, but before he could say anything, that look was gone, and Hotch was talking again.

"I cannot tell you what decisions to make, but you need to know that you don't have to do it just because she is asking you to. You don't owe her anything. You need to think through everything and make a decision with which you can live, a choice that will not make you hate yourself for the rest of your life." Hotch squeezed Dave's shoulder, giving him a sad smile. "Carolyn has known you for years, I'm sure she will understand and accept any choices you make. And you know I will support you too, no matter what choose you make."

Dave just nodded without saying anything. He couldn't, even if he wanted to, with the huge lump that had formed in his throat.

They were silent for a long time, the only sound coming from the cars passing outside and the faint humming of the fridge.

Dave was lost in thought, pondering everything Carolyn had told him and what Hotch had just said. He wasn't going to make a decision right now, he couldn't, but the thoughts didn't stop running through his head.

Dave looked up slightly, only to find Hotch watching him. He cleared his throat, averting his gaze.

"I'm sorry I showed up like this,"

Hotch shook his head, brushing off whatever else Dave was going to say.

"You have nothing to apologize for; I already told you that you are welcome here. Besides, Jack was happy to see you."

A small smile appeared on Dave's face, even if it didn't reach his eyes.

Dave took a quick glance at the watch on his wrist, surprised by the late hour. He hadn't realized he had been in Hotch's apartment for over two hours.

"I should head home, it's quite late."

"You can stay here if you want. I don't think you should be driving right now." Hotch said, quietly.

Dave ran a hand through his hair "No, no. I don't want to impose."

Hotch rolled his eyes. "You won't. Your go bag is in your car," It was more a statement than a question, but Dave nodded anyway. "Do you still have some clean clothes?"

"I think I still have a pair of pants and a shirt clean, but-"

Hotch cut him off. "No buts, you are staying here," Hotch stood up, reaching out. "Give me your keys, I'll go get it."

Dave searched for his keys in the pocket of his pants, and pulled them out. He handed the keys to Hotch, but didn't let go when Hotch reached for them, he waited until the younger man meet his gaze.

"Thanks... for everything." Dave murmured, his eyes filling with tears again and a sad smile on his face.

Hotch returned the smile. "You have nothing to thank me. That's what friends are for."

With that, Hotch took the keys and left the apartment, leaving Dave sitting on the sofa looking after him, a single tear falling down his cheek.

_**OoOoO**_

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><p><strong>So, tell me; Would you like to see a third chapter to this fic? Let me know!<br>**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read it.**** I hope you all have enjoyed****, and as always feedback is appreciated. Thank you :)  
><strong>


	3. I'm Damaged At Best, Like You've Figured

**I'm so sorry for the long wait, but life got in the way. **Finally, I could finish this chapter, I hope you like it and it was worth the wait.** This chapter was Nebula2's idea, who suggested I should write something about the next morning, and this came out. Also, in the summary I said it would be a two or three shot, but will end up with four chapters, so wait for the last one. I will try to publish it quickly. ********Enjoy it and remember, any comment or criticism will be appreciated.********  
><strong>

**A huge thanks, to **_**Nebula2 **_**for the beta.**

**I don't owe Criminal Minds or any of his characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>OoOoO<strong>

****Chapter III:**_** I'm damaged at best, like you've figured out.**_**

Dave woke up abruptly, heart racing and a gasp escaping out of his mouth. Disoriented and groggy he looked around, a frown immediately formed on his face, not recognizing where he was.

Sitting up straight, all traces of sleep gone, Dave looked carefully around the room, his mind racing, trying to remember where he was. Then, it hit him, everything came back to him. Carolyn's visit, what she said, him coming to Hotch's, everything. Dave drew a deep breath, his shoulders slumping forward.

Foolishly, he had wished, hoped that all of this wasn't real, that the next morning when he woke up, he would be at home, in his own bed, leaving it all behind like a bad dream. Apparently, that was too much to ask for.

He rubbed a hand over his face, giving up the idea of going back to sleep. Carelessly, he reached for his cell phone, on the nightstand. He grimaced watching the time in the small screen, it was only 4:42 a.m. It was going to be a long day.

Dave cradled his head between his hands. If he was honest with himself, coming here and talking to Hotch, getting everything out, had made him feel better, just slightly, but it was something. And, the fact Hotch had told him that he would support him, no matter what decicion Dave made, had made him relax, easing a concern he didn't even knew he had until that moment.

After Hotch had left him in the guest room, Dave had gone to bed, and it had taken him a lot of time to finally been able to fall sleep.

Finally, when he had been able to fall asleep, there had been bad dreams. They weren't nightmares exactly, they were just weird and pointless dreams. Nothing concrete, just blurred flashes of colors and distorted images. He didn't know what it was, or what it meant, but a wave of fear and panic had filled his body.

Dave shook his head, his mind spinning. Not for the first time, he wished there was a way to turn off his mind, to make all the thoughts and memories go away, even if it was just for a second, but he couldn't, so he was stuck, remembering and reliving everything as if he were back there, back at home. So Dave just sat there, his gaze fixed on the wall across from him, the conversation playing before his eyes.

He was snapped out of his daze when a thought suddenly hit him. He ought to call Carolyn, make sure she was okay, or as okay as possible and ask if she didn't needed anything, period. Carolyn had flown from Georgia to here, and was staying in a hotel. He should offer her to stay at his house, and make sure she didn't need to see a doctor, or medication or anything.

Dave rubbed a hand over his forehead, feeling immensely tired as the whole situation and implications came back to him.

He was brought out of his depressive thoughts, when he heard noises outside the room. He stayed still, carefully listening and only a couple of seconds later he heard the sound of the shower being turned on.

Dave's eyebrows drawn together. Why in the world Hotch shower at five in the morning? Without turning, Dave blindly reached for his cell phone again, surprised to see it was 6:08 a.m. already.

Distractedly, Dave ran his fingers through his hair. Part of him wish he could stay in bed all day, but the other, a larger part was afraid to be alone, alone with his thoughts, so taking a deep breath, Dave turned on the lamp in the nightstand, and got out the bed.

Less than 15 minutes later, Dave had already made the bed, a lot more carefully than he did it at his own home and was sitting on the bed.

Having been over at Hotch's apartment more than a few times and having spent the night here a couple of times before now, Dave didn't feel compelled to ask Hotch to let him use his shower, so a couple of minutes after Hotch had finished, Dave went into the bathroom and showered.

Dave dressed in jeans and a dark blue dress shirt, that was the only clothes he had left clean on his go bag. Taking a last look at his reflection in the mirror, Dave headed toward the door.

As soon as Dave opened the door, the smell of coffee filled his nostrils. Hotch's cooking skills were just fine, but the younger man knew how to make the best coffee Dave had ever had.

Following the delicious smell through the hallway, Dave got into the living room.

Hotch was sitting at the table, already dressed in a suit with a mug filled with hot coffee in front of him as the soft sound of the morning news, coming from the TV, filled the room.

"Morning," Dave called, as he walked toward him.

Hotch turned his head toward him, the coffee mug between his hands.

"Hey," Hotch greeted, eyes fixed on Dave's face, watching him, trying to find out how he was after last night. After a few of seconds, satisfied with what he saw, Hotch continued "I made coffee. You want some?"

Seeing that Hotch was about to stand up, Dave waved him off with his hand. "It's okay, I can get it."

Slowly, Dave went to the kitchen and poured the coffee into a mug he had taken from the cupboard.

Dave closed his eyes briefly, savoring the coffee, before he made his way back and sat on the chair across from Hotch.

"Mmm, you still know how to make the best coffee." Dave praised, clutching his mug between his hands.

"Thanks," Hotch replied, a small smile forming on his lips briefly before being replaced by a tight line and a frown. "Did you sleep well?"

Dave shrugged. "Enough."

Hotch's frown deepened, knowing what that meant. He didn't said anything, he just looked toward the TV, which was showing a man in a suit talking about political stuff. Turning his gaze back, Hotch licked his lips.

"I was thinking you could take the day or a few days off if you want. We just got back, it's unlikely we'll get called away so quickly."

Even before he finished speaking, Hotch knew he would get a negative answer from the look on Dave's face.

Dave shook his head. "I appreciate the offer but the last thing I need right now is to be at home with nothing to keep me busy." Dave finished, not quite meeting Hotch's gaze.

Hotch nodded, understanding what Dave was saying more than he would had liked.

They stayed silent for a while, each lost in his thoughts. A few minutes later, Hotch checked his watch quickly, and then got up.

"I need to get Jack ready for school, but you can take anything to eat from the kitchen if you want to." Hotch called, before disappearing down the hall.

Taking his mug, Dave went intro the kitchen. After looking around the cupboard and some drawers, Dave got all the ingredients he needed to make french toast for breakfast.

Less than fifteen minutes later, Dave had almost finished when he hear voices coming from the hallway.

"Uncle Dave!" Jack greeted Dave, standing next to his father.

"Hey, Kiddo,"

"Daddy said you stayed here. You did?" Jack asked, with the ever-present curiosity of a kid.

"Well, what your father said is true, I stayed here last night." Dave replied, keeping an eye on the stove.

Jack's eyes go wide open. "Like a sleepover?"

Dave's hoarse laugh filled the room. "Yes, kind of like that."

Hotch watched the interaction between Jack and Dave, his lips curled up. Jack would be a great support for Dave right now, just like he had been for him when Haley had die, no matter what choice he would take. He made a point to make Dave spend as much time as possible around Jack. That would help him more than anything Hotch himself could say or do.

As Hotch lowered his gaze to see Jack, his smile slipped off and a frown appeared on his face when he saw the pout on Jack's face.

"What's wrong Buddy?"

"You and Uncle Dave had a sleepover and you didn't tell me."

Hotch lifted his gaze, and exchanged an amused smile with Dave.

"Oh, you would have been bored, we just talked about boring grown up stuff."

Jack looked skeptical at his father, before turning to Dave.

"Really?"

Dave nodded, amused. "Yep, but if you want, we can make another one, a lot more fun so you can be here too."

Jack's eyes widened, his face lighting. "Really?"

"Of course. Now, why don't you sit down so you can eat breakfast?" Dave suggested gently.

Nodding excitedly, Jack sat in his usual chair, beside the one where his father always sat.

Hotch walked into the kitchen, and stood next to Dave.

"You didn't have to make breakfast."

Dave just shrugged, looking at Hotch briefly. "It's not a problem."

Hotch nodded. "Need some help?"

"No, no, it's almost ready," Dave looked at Hotch over his shoulder. "You can get some plates and the maple syrup. I couldn't find it."

A couple of minutes later, the three were sitting at the table, a plate of french toast in front of them.

While they ate, Jack excitedly kept talking about everything and nothing, so much that his father had to scold him gently a couple of times so he would stop talking long enough to take a bite.

"Why don't you go brush your teeth?" Hotch told Jack, once they had finished breakfast.

"Okay." Jack replied happily, standing up and runing toward the hall, and then, stopped under the threshold turning to look at his father.

"Are you and Uncle Dave gonna brush your teeth too, Daddy?"

Hotch turned around and smiling at Jack. "Of course we are Buddy, but we can't all do it at the same time, that's why you're going first."

Jack nodded, before disappearing down the hall.

It wasn't until Hotch and Dave had brushed their teeth properly, -luckily Dave had his toothbrush in his go bag- that they finally left the apartment.

"I have to drop Jack at school, so I'll see you in the office?" Hotch said, while they were standing outside, in front of their cars.

"Thay's okay, I have to make a quick trip home, so I'll see you there."

Hotch nodded before turn to Jack. "Why don't you say bye to Uncle Dave?"

"When are we gonna to do our sleepover?" Jack asked Dave in a serious tone.

Dave looked at Hotch. "He hasn't forgotten,"

Hotch gave him a wry smile. "And he wouldn't, trust me."

Dave turned to Jack, a smile on his face. "Well, I don't know yet, but soon, okay?"

Jack nodded and as Dave bent down, Jack circled his neck with his little hands in a quick hug and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Bye Uncle Dave."

"Bye Kiddo." Dave said, playfully stroking Jack's hair.

"See you later." Hotch said, and then went to his car, with Jack at his side.

After making sure Jack was settled, Hotch climbed into the car and started the engine.

As they passed next to Dave, Jack waved excitedly at Dave, who couldn't help but wave back.

Finally, Dave climbed into his truck and started driving.

This time though, Dave turned on the radio to a station with soft jazz music, to fill the silence and keep the thoughts of Caroly out of his head, at least for the moment.

**OoOoO**

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><p><strong><strong>For the next chapter I'm thinking of something set after Carolyn's death, with some more of DaveHotch and Dave/Jack interaction. What do you guys think?**  
><strong>

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read it.**** I hope you all have enjoyed****, and as always feedback is appreciated. Thank you.**


	4. I May Have Lost My Way Now

**I know, I know, I'm the worst updater ever :S The only excuse I can give is that in this season, so close from Christmas eve I haven't had much time to write. I hope you enjoy this chapter and the wait was worth. It **********is set exactly at the end of 7x06 "Epilogue." where Dave is sitting next to Carolyn's grave. So, enjoy it and remember, any comment or criticism will be appreciated. Also, I want to give a HUGE thanks to those who have left me a review, It really means a LOT to me :D ... and of course, Happy Holidays Everyone!  
><strong>**********

**I want to thank **_**Nebula2 **_**for the beta.**

**I don't owe Criminal Minds or any of his characters.**

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><p><strong>OoOoO<strong>

**Chapter IV: _I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home.  
><em>  
><strong>

Hotch got out of his car and started walking slowly, his footsteps soundless over the green grass.

He had been here just a few days ago, along with the rest of the team at Carolyn's funeral, wanting to be there for Dave, supporting him.

The funeral had been simple and small, led by Father Jimmy, Dave's long time friend. Dave had organized everything so quickly that only two of his siblings had been able to come with such short notice. Dave's mother had wanted to come, Mary, Dave's older sister had told Hotch, but she had been in poor health lately and her doctor hadn't authorized her to fly.

Carolyn didn't really have family, her mother and brothers had died a long time ago, but Hotch had asked Garcia to do a little research, and she had found and contacted some of the friends she had in Georgia, where she had been living the last few years, and they had been able to come.

After that night when Dave had told him about Carolyn's disease, they hadn't really talked. He hadn't seen Dave either after the funeral, remembering how much it had botherered him sometimes when people, neighbors and sometimes even the rest of the team were hovering over him, asking if he was okay. He had known back then that they just wanted to make sure he was okay, but still, sometimes it was too much, and he had wanted, needed to be alone.

He had made a point to call Dave every now and then though, to ask if he needed anything, and implicitly, to let him know he was not alone, that if he needed someone to talk, he was there.

Today, now that the team had the day off and Jack wasn't with him, Hotch had decided to go see Dave. When he had arrived at Dave's, he had found the house empty, but had immediately know where Dave was.

Hotch stopped a few feet away, watching.

Dave had put a blanket over the grass and was sitting in the front of Carolyn's grave, his shoulders slumped forward. Hotch pressed his lips together, remembering the countless times he had spent hours sitting in front of Haley's grave, just wanting to be near her. Hotch shook his head and began walking toward Dave, stopping at his side.

"I had a feeling I'd find you here," Hotch said, throwing Dave's words back at him, the ones he had told Hotch after Strauss had offered him retirement, and he had gone to see Haley.

Dave turned his head toward Hotch, acknowledging his presence, but didn't say anything, he just turned his head back, his melancholic gaze glued to Carolyn's grave.

He wasn't surprised, he had felt Hotch's presence, had felt the other man's eyes on his back for a few minutes, probably since he had came here.

During the instant Dave turned, Hotch looked at his face carefully, for any signs of discomfort that would indicate Dave would rather be left alone, but didn't find any, so he lowered himself, sitting next to Dave.

Hotch remained silent, without saying the words '_I'm sorry' _or asking him how he was, knowing that in a moment like this, after a great loss, words were useless. Knowing that hear someone say ´I'm sorry´ did not made you feel any better, and ´How are you?´ was an absurd question, because you couldn't feel more than miserable.

Looking at Dave out of the corner of his eye, Hotch pressed his lips together, and waited. Ready to hear what Dave had to say, when the older Agent was ready to talk.

They sat in silence for a while, the only sound coming from the joyful singing of some birds in a tree nearby, offsetting with the pain and grief this place bore.

Licking his lips, Dave finally looked at Hotch sideways.

"You never asked me what I did."

It was a simple sentence, but they both knew what Dave was talking about.

Hotch shrugged. "There is no reason why I should know, and well, I thought you would tell me if you wanted to... when you were ready."

Dave nodded looking away. It took him some time, but eventually he continued talking, his gaze fixed on his hands.

"I don't... I called her that night, to ask her if I could go see her, to talk." Dave stopped, drawing a deep breath before finish. "She took the pills before I got there. She- I didn't help her. I should have- I should have called an ambulance, I... I didn't do anything, I just saw her die. I just held her while she slipped away."

Dave had his hands stretched out, palms up before him, as if holding someone, his gaze fixed on them.

Hotch listened carefully to what Dave said, shaking his head in disagreement, but waited until Dave had finished before speaking.

"There was nothing you could do, you couldn't have saved her," Dave's head snapped up, and he looked at Hotch with an incredulous, angry look. Ignoring the gaze aimed at him, Hotch continued gently. "Even if you had called an ambulance and they had arrived on time, you wouldn't have been able to save her, not really, because she didn't want to be saved." Hotch paused a moment, searching for the best words to say what he was thinking. "You told me she wanted to go on her own terms, and this was the only way she could do it."

The thought that she would have done it again, when she could, was implied in Hotch's words.

Feeling the tears pool in his eyes, Dave looked away.

"She told me she knew I wouldn't do it, that's why she- that's why she did it alone."

Aaron drew a slow breath, pressing his lips together but didn't say anything.

It wasn't until Dave felt he had his emotions under control that he looked back at Hotch. He cleared his throat.

"You didn't seem surprised," Dave said, nodding in the direction of the small grave next to Carolyn's, remembering the shocked and open-mouthed expressions on the face of everyone on the team, except for the man beside him.

Hotch risked a quick look at where Dave was pointing at, before returning his gaze to Dave's face.

"I kind of had figured it out." At Dave's arched eyebrow Hotch shrugged. "The thought had crossed my mind a few times, but well, it's not something you can just ask."

That was all Hotch said, knowing that the last thing Dave needed right now was hear his profile.

Dave nodded, a sad smile on his face.

"I never saw myself as a parent, you know? It was like parenthood and I didn't... fit. Carolyn knew it. I still remember when she told me she was pregnant." A wishful expression appeared on his face, remembering. "She stood before me and said she didn't care if I wanted a baby or not, that she was going to have him and it was my decision if I wanted to be part of it or not."

Hotch watched Dave carefully as he spoke, his lips curling into a sad smile. Dave's body was relaxed, his gaze ahead him, eyes bright and a light smile on his face.

"I was so happy, it was as if what I had hoped and waited my whole life had finally come." The smile faded from Dave's lips and a painful expression appeared on his face. "It... there were some problems during the birth, , I... the doctors were able to complete the delivery, but the baby had trouble breathing and feeding and... he died two hours after."

Hotch drew a slow breath watching as a tear ran down Dave's cheek, feeling his own eyes fill with tears. He could't help but think of Jack, Hotch don't know what he would have done in Dave's place, if he had lost his son. He felt a chill go down his spine, just thinking about it.

"I'm so sorry Dave, I..." Hotch sighed, not knowing how to continue he just shook his head, looking away.

They lapsed into silence for a few minutes before either of them spoke again. Surprisingly, it was Dave who broke the silence.

"Everything changed after that, it- I think that's why our relationship ended, It was hard just to see her sometimes,"

Pressing his lips together, Hotch nodded slowly, not knowing how to respond.

"I got a bit carried away, didn't I?" Dave said after a bit of silence trying to lighten the mood but failing, his smile tight and his eyes slightly bloodshot.

Hotch shook his head effusively. "No, no, of course not! I just... I'm sorry, I don't-" Aaron drew a deep breath, trying to settle himself. "I can't imagine how hard this is for you, reliving everything... I just want to _thank you_ for trusting me with this." Hotch finished, looking straight in the eyes of the man he considered was his best friend.

Dave offered him a watery smile. "You know how much I trust you. I... I haven't talked about him for a long time. Since he died," Dave opened and closed his mouth a couple times before he could speak. "Thank _you_ for hearing me out."

"You have nothing to thank me for." Hotch said, a sad smile on his lips.

Dave nodded his understanding, and they fell silent again.

It kind of made Dave feel good, to let it all out. To talk about James. The only other time he had address the subject had been right after it happened, to Jimmy. It had hurt like hell, but in the end, it had been good, and it had made him feel slightly better, over time.

"Where's Jack?" Dave asked after a while, frowning slightly.

"He's at JJ's. Jack has been pushing on going to play with Henry for a while now and yesterday JJ said I should take him to her home because Henry wanted to see him too." Hotch said smiling. It still amazed him how well Jack and Henry get along in spite of the age difference between them.

Dave nodded, but didn't say anything.

Hotch looked quickly at his watch, he should go pick Jack up from JJ's in less than half hour. He looked at Dave.

"I should go but I..." Hotch bit his lip, as Dave's eyes met his. "I know it wasn't the same, but I know what it's like to lose someone important in your life, someone you love. I know how hard it is but... but alienating yourself from the people who love you is not the answer, believe me, I know. You know we're all here for you, all of us, you just have to let us in." Hotch offered him a small smile. "Besides, Jack misses his uncle Dave."

Dave blinked at Hotch a few times, before nodding. "I know," He whispered, rubbing his forehead.

Hotch put a hand on Dave's shoulder, squeezing it lightly before he got up and walked away, leaving Dave sitting over the grass, looking after him.

**OoOoO**

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><p><strong>So, I lied, this will be a five-shot <strong>**after all. This chapter ended too long so I break it in two parts. The other part is almost finished, so I'll post it quickly, I promise :)  
><strong>

**A/N:Thanks to all who read it.**** I hope you all have enjoyed****, and as always feedback appreciated. Thank you.**


	5. I'm Holding On, I'm Barely Holding

**I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry.**** The chapter was finished but I just don't get around to send it to**_ Nebula2, _my beta_._ I hope you are still interested in the fic : D **I also want to thank everyone how ****read, alerted, review and added this story to your favorites. I'm so glad you followed me through the slow but amazing and fun journey of writing this story. ****Each one of your words mean a lot to me. Thank you!**

**************Also, as some of you may have noticed, the title of the chapters and the story was taken from **************Lifehouse**************'s song Broken, so the credit goes there. So, enjoy it and remember, any comment or criticism will be appreciated.**************

**I want to thank _Nebula2 _for the beta.**

**I don't owe Criminal Minds or any of his characters.**

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><p><strong>OoOoO<strong>

**Chapter V:**_** _**I'm holding on, I'm barely holding**_.**_

"Look Daddy, look, I finished!" Jack shouted excitedly, taking his drawing and running toward the master bedroom, where Hotch was folding laundry.

"Wow Buddy, you were pretty fast." Hotch replied with a smile, taking the sheet of paper from Jack's hands.

Jack climbed up the bed, kneeling next to his father. "Look this is Sulley," Jack said, pointing to a big figure in blue. "and this is Mike." This time, Jack pointed to a small green ball.

Hotch smiled, recognizing the characters from the movie ´Monsters, Inc.´, that Jack had seen at least four times in the last couple of weeks.

"This is great Buddy, good job." Hotch praised his son, rubbing his hair playfully. His smile widened at the sound of Jack's laugh. "So, what do you want to do now Buddy?"

Jack thought for a moment. "Can we watch a movie? Please?"

Hotch pretend to think for a moment, watching Jack's big brown eyes. "All right. Why don't you go pick the movie and I'll make popcorn?"

"Yay!" Jack shouted, jumping out the bed and running out of the room.

Hotch laughed, putting his socks in one of the bottom drawers before leaving the room, Jack's drawing in his hand.

He had just reached the living room when the doorbell rang. Frowning, he left the drawing on the table and went to answer the door.

Looking through the peephole, Hotch blinked a few times, surprised by the person on the other side of the door.

"Hey," Hotch greeted, opening the door.

"Hi, I hope I'm not interrupting." Dave said quietly, bouncing on the balls of the feet, hands in his pockets.

Hotch shook his head, stepping aside. "Come in."

"Uncle Dave!"

Catching sight of the other man, Jack jumped up and ran towards him. The little boy circled Dave's legs with his little arms, burying his face in Dave's pants. "I've missed you."

Dave hugged Jack back, rubbing his back gently. "I've missed you too, Kiddo."

Hotch smiled at the scene before him, relieved and grateful that Dave had listened to him.

Jack pulled back, smiling widely at Dave, who rubbed his hair gently.

Dave lifted Jack in his arms, and started walking toward the couch. "So, your Dad told me you went to play with Henry today."

"Yes! We had lots of fun. Uncle Will played trucks with us and Aunt JJ made us cookies. She makes the best cookies ever." Jack said matter-of-factly.

Hotch laughed, arching an eyebrow at his son. "What about Aunt Jess' cookies?"

Jack looked from his father to Dave warily, before answering in a whisper. "Don't tell Aunt Jess, but Aunt JJ's cookies are better ´cause she makes them in cool figures and puts a yummy paint on them."

Hotch's cell phone rang, and Hotch started walking towards the table where it was.

"You mean sugar glaze, because paint doesn't eat Buddy." Hotch corrected gently, before picking up the cell phone.

Dave didn't miss the grimace on Hotch's face when he saw who called, before responding with his usual 'Hotchner', but just returned his attention to Jack, asking him what else he had done at JJ's.

It wasn't long before Hotch hung up, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Everything okay?"

Hotch turned to face Dave. "Yes, everything's okay, it's just that Strauss needs me to go to the office right now."

A frown appeared on Dave's face.

"I thought the team had the day off." He said, recalling the piece of information Emily had shared yesterday when she had called him.

Hotch nodded, the phone still in his hands. "And they do, it's an administrative thing, so it's just me."

Jack turned to his father, sitting on Dave's lap. "Do you have to go catch a bad guy, Daddy?"

"No Buddy, Daddy needs to go to the office for a while."

Hotch start dialing in his cell phone when Dave stopped him.

"What are you doing?"

"I need to call Jessica, to ask her to come and take care of Jack while I'm gone."

Dave shrugged. "I can stay here if you want."

That got Hotch's attention, who looked at Dave, a surprised expression on his face.

"Yes Daddy! Can Uncle Dave stay? Please?"

Hotch looked at Dave carefully. "Are you sure?"

Dave shrugged again. "Yeah, why not? You said yourself it's an administrative thing, so it won't take long."

"Please Daddy, Please?"

Hotch narrowed his eyes at Dave for a bit, unsure if Dave would be okay taking care of Jack right now.

"Okay, I'll go get changed." Hotch said before disappearing down the hall.

Less than ten minutes later, Hotch appeared in the room, jacket and briefcase in hand, and his tie hanging around his neck. He quickly left his jacket on the back of the chair and his briefcase on the table and began to tie his tie.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I can still call Jessica."

Dave gave him an amused look. "Yes, I'm sure. It's not as if this is the first time I looked after him."

Hotch nodded, reaching for his jacket. "I don't think it'll be long, but if Jack gets hungry there's some mac and cheese in the freezer. I don't think he will, but just in case and feel free to eat something if you want too."

Hotch adjusted his tie, before taking his briefcase and walking to the couch where Jack and Dave sat.

"Be good for uncle Dave, okay Buddy?" Hotch said, kissing Jack's forehead.

Jack smiled. "I will Daddy."

Hotch turned to Dave. "I'll get back as soon as I can."

Dave nodded. "That's okay, I'm sure we'll be fine. Right Kiddo?"

Jack nodded eagerly.

With a soft smile on his face, Hotch nodded too, and left.

As soon as the door was closed, Dave turned to Jack. "So, what do you want us to do now Kiddo?"

"Me and Daddy were going to watch a movie."

"Sounds like a good plan. You already have one picked out?" Jack shook his head. "Mmm, you want some popcorn?" This time Jack nodded excitedly. "Okay you choose the movie and I make the popcorn, okay?"

When Dave returned to the living room, a bowl of popcorn in his hands, he found Jack sitting on the couch, legs swinging back and forth.

Dave frowned at the unusual quietness.

"Hey, have you picked yet?"

Jack nodded dutifully, handling Dave the movie he had chosen.

"Cars, hmm?" Dave commented, taking the movie and leaving the bowl on the coffee table.

Dave was about to walk toward the bookshelf, where the dvd player was, when Jack spoke, his voice small.

"Daddy said you didn't go to my game 'cause a friend of yours went to heaven and you were sad."

Dave stopped in his steps, taken completely by surprise. He forced himself to turn around, putting what he hoped was a friendly smile. He waited until he was sitting next to Jack to answer, and had to clear his throat to do so.

"Yeah, that's true. A _friend_ whom I loved very much went to heaven, that's why I wasn't with you at your game. I'm sorry."

When Dave looked at Jack, he found the little boy biting his lip, a guilty expression on his face.

"What's wrong?"

After a moment of hesitation, Jack answered. "Daddy told me I shouldn't ask you 'cause it would make you sad. I didn't want to make you sad Uncle Dave."

In spite of himself, Dave smiled at the little boy. "You didn't make me sad, I'm sad because I miss her, but you didn't make me sad Kiddo."

Jack looked at him skeptically, but finally nodded.

"Aunt Jess said it was okay to miss Mommy, but I shouldn't be sad 'cause she was in heaven with the angels." Jack paused for a moment, a curious expression appearing on his face. "Is your friend in heaven too, Uncle Dave?"

Dave felt a lump in his throat. "I hope so," he whispered.

Jack tilted his head. "Was she a good person like Mommy?"

Dave just nodded, unable to speak.

"Then she's in heaven with Mommy." Jack told him firmly.

Dave allowed a small smile at Jack's conviction and took a moment to contemplate the irony that he was being comforted by a six year-old boy, who had already suffered in his short life more than what most people did throughout their entire lives.

They were silent until Jack spoke, his voice soft.

"I miss Mommy's hugs and kisses sometimes. Daddy and Aunt Jess give me hugs and kisses too, but Mommy's were different." Jack paused, biting his lip again. "Sometimes I get sad 'cause I miss Mommy, but I didn't tell Daddy."

"Why don't you tell your Dad?" Dave asked, genuinely curious.

Jack shrugged. "'Cause I don't want him to be sad too."

Dave felt the tears stinging in his eyes. It never ceased to amaze him the great similarity between father and son. He couldn't feel more proud of the little boy in front of him, wanting to protect his father. Then he had an idea.

"Why don't we make a deal?" Dave proposed Jack.

Jack tilted his head, curious.

"When you get sad because you miss your mother, you can tell me, and when I'm sad because I miss my friend, I will tell you. What do you think?"

It was a bit of a trick to help Jack, make him share his feelings with someone, but just like with his father, Jack wouldn't share his feelings easy, but he would if he thought he was helping someone, helping Dave, which he definitely was- just not by listening to him. He was helping Dave just by being around him, making him forget everything, if only for a moment.

Jack wrinkled his little brow in concentration, thinking.

"So, what do you say Kiddo?" Dave asked him after a while.

Jack lifted his gaze, looking at Dave for a moment, before he nodded quietly.

With a grin, Dave extended his hand to shake Jack's. "Deal."

Jack offered him a shy smile in return.

"You want to see the movie now? Or we can talk if you want." Dave asked, staring at Jack.

Jack bit his lip again, "Can we see Cars now?"

"Of course we can Kiddo." Dave reached for the bowl of popcorn. "Here, take these while I put in the movie."

Less than ten minutes had passed since the movie had ended when the apartment's door opened, showing Hotch at the other side, a pizza box and his briefcase in one hand and keys in the other.

"Hey,"

"Daddy!" Jack jumped off the couch right away,and ran to his father.

"Hey Buddy. Can you close the door for me?" Hotch asked Jack, stepping into the apartment, and leaving his briefcase and keys on the entryway table.

Obediently, Jack closed the door and walked to his father's side.

Hotch turned towards him. "I brought some pizza, why don't you go wash your hands?"

"Yay! Pizza!" Jack shouted excitedly, before running down the hall.

Hotch smiled at his son before turning his gaze to Dave.

"Thanks for taking care him." Hotch said as he put the pizza box on the table.

Dave waved him off with his hand, going to stand next to him. "How did it go your meeting with Strauss?"

Hotch grimaced. "In the same way they all go. She being as hard as always and putting buts to everything I say, but agreeing with me at the end."

Dave grinned. Some things never change and it seemed that the resentment Strauss felt for Hotch was one of them.

"Do you want to stay to eat some pizza with us?" Hotch asked before disappearing into the kitchen.

"I don't know. I don't think I'll like cheese pizza." Dave joked, eyeing the closed box.

Hotch returned bringing plates, and rolled his eyes at Dave's comment. "I always order half pepperoni with mushrooms and peppers for me."

Waiting until Dave nodded, Hotch went back to the kitchen, this time bringing a glass of apple juice for Jack and two beers for Dave and himself.

"Jack didn't give you any trouble, did he?"

Dave waved him off with his hand. "Of course he didn't. He's a great kid."

Hotch smiled.. "Thanks for watching him for me. I really appreciate it."

Dave shook his head, and looked at Hotch straight in the eye. "You're lucky, you know. It's a wonderful kid you've got here."

Hotch's smile widened and his eyes shifted down the hall, as Jack's little steps sounded over the carpet before Jack appeared, a broad smile on his face.

"I know," Hotch whispered to Dave.

_**"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose." - Tennessee Williams**_.

**OoOoO**

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><p><strong>So, I finally finished. This is my longest story so far, and all the fun I had writing and all your good comments just left me with the desire and intention of keep writing. So look out for more stories! Soon I hope.<br>**

**A/N:Thanks to all who read it. I hope you all have enjoyed, and as always feedback appreciated. Thank you.**


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